I know we haven't talked a ton over the last few years. It's not your fault, I haven't always been much fun to talk to. But I'm in a really good place right now (yeah, last night wasn't pretty, but we've all had those nights). And I want us to give it another shot.
Do you remember how things used to be? I do. The 70s, man, those were some fun times. Frank McGuire, Alex English, John Roche, Mike Dunleavy. Don't you try to hide that smile, I know you enjoyed those winter evenings we spent together. We had something special back then. What happened?
Look, I understand that things change. You found some new friends in the past few years, what with football winning all those games and baseball winning those championships. And I'll be the first one to admit, I wasn't much fun to be around during those times. Plus, I moved into a big, fancy new house and maybe that's put a little strain on our relationship. But look at what's happening with your other friends. Football broke your heart this season, baseball let you down last year (and, depending on your expectations, the year before that). I know football swears it's changing and it all seems fresh and new and exciting, but what about us? I was there for you way before them.
Don't try to make excuses, we both know I'm the best thing you've got going right now. 30-1 with two teams that can make the NCAA Tournament? Where else are you going to find something like me? We can make this work, baby.
Bring your friends over, I don't mind. There's plenty of room. When's the last time we got crazy and sold this place out? And I'm not talking about one of those nights where our drunk friends from Kentucky crashed here, I'm talking about an unplanned party. We did it twice in 2009 (Georgia and Tennessee) and that year, I had a combined 31-28 record. Let's get back to what we used to be. There's no time like the present.
If you need more time, I guess I understand. But please, don't make me wait too much longer. I've got some big plans for the next few weeks. Missouri, A&M, Kentucky, UConn. We could have a lot of fun if you can just love me again.
If you don't believe me, talk to Frank and Dawn. They want us together in the worst kind of way. They're always talking about how great we are together, even when this place isn't sold out. Just imagine how happy you'll make them. If you won't do it for me, think about how much it would mean to those two. They love us and they just want us to be happy.
Don't be afraid of showing me how you feel, Columbia. I know I hurt you before and I'm sorry. Give me a chance this year to show you what you mean to me. You won't be disappointed.