A Guide to Fighting South Carolina's Football Coaches

By Rixon Lane

In case you missed it, Sean "Diddy" Combs was arrested yesterday after a fight with UCLA's strength and conditioning coach, Sal Alosi. 

During the scuffle, Diddy allegedly attacked Alosi with a kettlebell and was charged with assault with a deadly weapon. 

While mixing it up with a college coach is probably not a good idea, here's the list of Gamecock coaches you should never engage with in a fistfight. 

 

1. Joe Connolly

I don't care if you can bench press a house and can curl a goalpost. Never, and I repeat, NEVER get into a scrap with a college football strength coach. Those cats are a completely different breed. On top of that, Connolly competes in olympic weightlifting, powerlifting, Highland games, and strongman competitions. You. Will. Lose. 

 

2. Shawn Elliott

If strength coaches are at the top of list, offensive line coaches are next. Elliott is arguably the most animated Gamecock coach on Steve Spurrier's staff and a former All-SoCon defensive end. With massive hands and a general lack of regard for anyone else's health and safety, Elliott is another coach to stay away from.

 

3. Steve Spurrier

Spurrier may be 70 years old, but he's crafty. His workout regiment has made headlines and he may be the most competitive life-force on the planet. If you honestly believe that you can handle the Head Ball Coach mano a mano, no matter your age, you're fooling yourself. 

 

4. Kirk Botkin

Botkin had zero qualms about getting up close and personal with his colleague, Deke Adams. Do you really think the former All-SEC tight end and four-year NFL veteran would have any reservations about putting his hands on you? 

 

5. Deke Adams

A member of Southern Mississippi's "Nasty Bunch" defense and an ex-college linebacker? Yeah, good luck with that.