10 Better Uses For Hoover Metropolitan Stadium

By Rixon Lane

South Carolina's baseball season likely came to an end yesterday with a 5-1 loss to the Missouri Tigers on the first day of the SEC Tournament at Hoover Metropolitan Stadium. 

In South Carolina's last 15 games in Hoover, the Gamecocks are 2-13. South Carolina hasn't won a game in the Hoover Met since 2012. While the Gamecocks weren't expected to do much this year in the SEC Tournament, some of South Carolina's best teams have also fallen flat in Hoover. 

Clearly, Hoover Metropolitan Stadium is broken. Here are some ideas to fix it. 

 

1. Car Wash

The sprinkler systems are already set up and there's plenty of space to pack in the cars. All you need is some buckets and soap. The outfield grass will soak up all the water. People are always looking for ways to get their cars cleaned. And now, since I know that it's already stuck in your head...

 

2. Corn Maze

Give those poor groundskeepers a few weeks off and let the outfield loose! Once the grass is a good 12-15 feet high, you can hack away! Other than a fun day for the entire family, SEC coaches could use the maze as a great method for testing prospective athletes. Stick an 18-year old shortstop inside a corn maze and see if he can stay calm and collected! If not, he's probably not the guy you want batting in the three-hole. 

 

3. Zen Garden

A carefully crafted area full of dirt and topped off with strange features. It's basically just a giant infield, which you already have. The only difference is that a zen garden requires silence. Then again, you do keep insisting on starting games at 8:30 in the morning. 

 

4. Paintball Arena

The perfect opportunity to give the bleachers a fresh coat of paint, as long as no one minds having them look like a bus at Woodstock. 

 

5. Putt-Putt Course

The entire course is either rough or sand trap. Take that, Tiger!

 

6. Planetarium

I don't know exactly what the Hoover night sky looks like, but I know that a whole lot of people can lay down in the outfield. Just put that tarp overhead and you're set. 

 

7. Octagon

MMA is popular for some unknown reason, so let's find out how effective those fighters are in a bigger space. My money is still on Ronda Rousey. 

 

8. Bird Toilet

Essentially, the Hoover Met every fall and winter. 

 

9. Prom Site

Hoover High School held this year's prom at the Cahaba Grand Conference Center. Do you really think that the Bucs couldn't be persuaded to move the event outside to the spacious stadium? If they don't, there's always Robert F. Bumpus Middle School. 

 

10. Nuclear Waste Collection

Just highlights of South Carolina's last 15 SEC Tournament games playing on the video board.