Steve Spurrier's Other Social Media Accounts

So, the Head Ball Coach finally joined Twitter, eh? Well, I can safely say the world is a better place for it, unless you're a fan of "that team from the upstate", to quote Spurrier's own tweet. This shouldn't come as any surprise, however, given that Spurrier has been on social media for years. You didn't know? The boss has always been way ahead of the time when it comes to online communication. Don't believe me? Let's do a rundown.

"So Dabo asks me, 'hey have you heard of this world wide web? Does it have anything to do with spiders?' So I called him a noob and hocked a loogie right there in his face."

AOL Instant Messenger
Used: 1997-2003
Username: FunNGun69
Yep, the HBC was on AIM right from the beginning. How do you think he recruited Rex Grossman? High school quarterback chat rooms, of course. Yes, it did involve posing as an impressionable buxom 18 year-old cheerleader who enjoys kissing hot football players and making questionable decisions after drinking one-and-a-half light beers. But when all was said and done, Spurrier catfished the hell out of Grossman and lured him to Florida, where together they won an SEC Championship. They still have the original six pack of Zima and Sugar Ray mix CD that Grossman brought for his "girlfriend" on display in the Florida Sports Hall of Fame.

Livejournal
Used: 2002-2004
Username: RedSpur69
Yes, even the Head Ball Coach went through a phase of writing emo blog posts for all the world to see. He wasn't having a lot of fun coaching the Washington Redskins, and who could blame him? His best quarterback was Patrick Ramsey, for crying out loud. 

"Hey, I saw you took a screenshot of that Snapchat I sent you earlier! You better not spread that around on the internet! That was only meant to be seen for five seconds!"

"Hey, I saw you took a screenshot of that Snapchat I sent you earlier! You better not spread that around on the internet! That was only meant to be seen for five seconds!"

MySpace
Used: 2005-2009
Username: CockyCoach69
In order, from eighth to first, Steve Spurrier's eight top friends:
-Tom
-Spurrier Jr. (username: SpuJu666)
-Bob & Mark Stoops (they shared a MySpace)
-the official Fall Out Boy band page
-Tommy Beecher
-Some kid who's profile is just a picture of a pot leaf
-Danny Wuerffel
-Tila Tequila

"So what if I use emojis? How am I supposed to tell someone when I'm laughing to the point of tears? Or that I have a smiling kitty cat face? Get with the times."

Facebook
Used: 2007-present
Username: Steve.Spurrier2 (oddly enough, Spurrier Jr. didn't get the original Steve.Spurrier url)
I know what you're thinking. Oh no, even the HBC is an old person on Facebook? No, he doesn't start random conversations in the comment section of a photo. No, he doesn't post vaguely racist opinions about current topics. If anything, Spurrier has no need for Facebook other than to "like" pictures of his family and to thank people for wishing him a happy birthday. To Spurrier's credit, though, he's never been one of those people who says "oh, I don't really go on Facebook anymore", like they're so much better than you.

Tumblr
Used: 2013-present
Username: HouseOfHootie
True, it's just a Hootie and the Blowfish fan blog. You'd be hard-pressed, though, to find higher quality .gifs of Darius Rucker anywhere else on the internet. When you see the smiling visage of Rucker displayed in extra-classy black-and-white, do you think about who took the time to make it? No, you don't. You just save it to your desktop, then repost it on your own blog, without even giving credit! Steve Spurrier knows photoshop, and Steve Spurrier deserves your likes and reblogs.

"Son, do you think you could spread around the hashtag #ClickClack for me? I think the kids would really dig it."