Liveblogging the 2012 USC-ECU Game

Now that we're all done reeling from that brutal USC-TAMU game, we can move on to an opponent we're all far more familiar with, and definitely familiar with beating. East Carolina rolls into Willie-B fairly confident, though. They have players who have experience playing against South Carolina in the past, and think they can pull an upset against a defense with more questions than answers.

What does experience really count for, though? Sure, some of ECU's players may have played USC before, but they got their butts handed to them. How much butt, you ask? Well, let's take a look. Follow along with this handy YouTube video of the whole game!

3:15: Andre Ware fires up the viewing audience by exclaiming “I’m ready to run around. Go hit somebody let’s go do something.” Andre then put on his old Houston helmet and pads, and abruptly ran out of the booth. Andre Ware doesn't joke around, folks.

Marcus! I MISS YOOOOOU!

4:34: Just seeing Marcus Lattimore makes me wish he was here. Right here. We’d have a nice conversation, maybe a meal, and then he’d be on his way. A very pleasant lunch.

4:54: ECU has won the past three times in Columbia. Kind of a weird stat considering they’re considered a relatively easy win.

Unacceptable.

6:08: We get a gorgeous shot of Willie B Stadium, where we clearly see it is not a sellout. I see splashes of seats, and I don’t like it. No excuse.

8:15: BRUUUUUUUUUUUUCE! Man, that dude was fun to watch.

8:33: Andre Ware brings up how Marcus’ block was similar to the one that resulted in injury against Mississippi State. Thanks, Andre. You’re a regular beam of sunlight.

A mighty howl from the Dylan Dog!

9:44: Dylan Dog has become rabid! No really, he keeps jerkin his arms around and screaming. Might have to take him ‘round back sometime this season. Look away, son. Look away. 

10:15: Marcus tied the school rushing touchdown record on this play. Come home, Marcus. I miss you.

10:49: Oh GOOD. Another mention of the Fun ’N’ Gun. That system that Spurrier hasn’t used since god-knows-when never fails to get brought up in the most unnatural manner.

Yeah, good luck with that.

13:34: Rio Johnson is listed as a featured impact player. Remember that

17:20: Win a Honda generator? Who can say nooooo?

18:50: Andre Ware mentions Marcus is on the list of his “Five Most Explosive Players in 2012”. The other players were Sammy Watkins, Tavon Austin, Denard Robinson, and DeAnthony Thomas.

You poor bastard

25:37: The referee’s name is Wayne Winkler?! WAYNE WINKLER?! How am I supposed to take this guy seriously? He sounds like some nerd who works at the Daily Bugle in Spider-Man comics.

29:15: After tossing a touchdown to BUSTAAAAAA Anderson, Dave Neal compares Dylan Dog to Danny Wureffel, then immediately says “okay that might be a stretch”. Either compliment a guy or don’t, Neal! I don’t need to hear your geeky voice any more than I already do.

32:05: I didn’t know you overthrow somebody who stands 6’8”. Rio Johnson found a way.

36:29: ECU’s coach is Ruffin McNeil. I still can’t believe that name. Only name funnier than that would be Puffin McNeil.

Side five! It's hard to tell, but Whammy is smiling. I see you, Wham Bam.

43:30: Clowney almost gets a sack and Whammy is happy! When Whammy is happy, everybody happy!

51:50: DEANGELO SMITH TOUCHDOWN?! Fun fact: DeAngelo Smith caught six passes during his time at South Carolina. Humans have landed on the moon six times. Just putting things in perspective.

57:17: Clowney pressures Johnson into throwing an interception with ease. If anthropologists ever try to discover why there was such excitement surrounding Jadeveon Clowney back in the day, this will be one of the games they watch.

1:01:28: Oh hey look, the running game works, just like it always does. It’s not even Lattimore running, it’s Kenny Miles! RUN THE BALL SPURRIER! YOU HAVE MIKE DAVIS AND BRANDON WILDS!

1:06:59: South Carolina decides they’re tired of playing defense, and strip Jabrill Solomon clean of the ball. Now that’s how you get a Gatorade break.

1:08:38: Hey, #30 on ECU, stop adjusting your hair and read a playbook. Nobody’s looking at your shiny onyx locks.

1:13:21: Watching that pick, I just bellowed the longest DEEEEEEEEEEEE-JAY ever. And who put pressure on Rio Johnson, forcing him to throw that pick? His last name rhymes with “frownley”

1:16:30: Nick Jones drops a crucial pass, and we get an off-screen Spurrier headset toss. Finally, Dave Neal reports something worth hearing.

1:22:20: ECU’s quarterback for the game this upcoming Saturday will be Shane Carden. Here he is making his first appearance in the game.

And here he is throwing an interception on his first pass. Good omen?

1:24:35: Wow. Just wow. This whole play was amazing, from start to finish. Dylan slips out of three potential sacks, drops back, rolls out, hits D.L. Moore with the pass, who then slips and slides to the sideline and runs into the endzone. That’s straight college football magic, ladies and gentlemen. Wow.

1:25:45: Nothing more hilarious that seeing Dylan Dog celebrate with a fiery passion, as some fat guy from ECU is laid out in the backgound. Dylan would later skin that player, and use his hide as a rug.

1:29:25: Boy, our defense was so lazy. Once again, they don’t feel like being on the field, so Jimmy Legree just strips the ball from the receiver and recovers the fumble. So typical. Alas, the receiver was ruled down, so the play continues…

1:33:50: …for four minutes, as Jimmy Legree then proceeds to intercept the football and run it back for a pick six. Betcha wish you had just let them have the football, hm?

2:00:28: A little “razzle dazzle” Dave Neal calls it, as Dylan tosses the ball to Ace Sanders, who then tosses it to D.L. Moore in the endzone for a touchdown. 

2:01:05: Now Andre Ware calls it “razzle dazzle”! What is that, the phrase of the day? Do they get paid for every “razzle dazzle”? Do they each get two separate checks, one for every “razzle” and another for every “dazzle”?

2:01:20: I… I don’t know what that was supposed to be. Spurrier just waves it away with his clipboard, disgusted with his own play-calling. Seth Strickland takes the snap for the extra point, fakes the handoff, then immediately throws it away, with no pressure in sight. Huh?

2:16:30: Dylan has to be consoled by the Head Ball Coach after he fumbles away the ball. Say what you want about him, but Dilly Doo plays with a lot of passion. He fumbled after trying to truck a defender on a run, after all. That’s just plain ol’ tough.

2:20:00: Behold, the majesty of Jadeveon Clowney! He’s like a lion bathing in the sunlight after eating his kill.

Oh come ON you guys!

2:21:40: Woah, look at those empty stands! What, you got someplace better to be? You’re gonna miss the third stringers racking up inflated stats!

2:22:40: Ooh, first look at a young Mike Davis. He’s already got that nice stutter step working for him.

2:24:10: Joshua Blue getting carries?! Alright, we’re circling the drain here.

2:25:50: Seth Strickland touchdown. Yeah, I’m done.

Oh, and remember Rio Johnson, impact player? 18-for-29, 193 yards, and three interceptions.