Kentucky 17, Vanderbilt 7
Kentucky only beat Vanderbilt by ten, whereas the Gamecocks beat Vandy by 14. Any nerd that is actually enrolled at Vanderbilt can tell you that means the Gamecocks are the better team. Wait, does that mean Temple is better than both teams? Let's not go down that road.
Player to Watch: Patrick Towles, Quarterback
Ol' Towlie had himself a nice game, getting a touchdown both through the air and on the ground. I still won't pronounce his last name correctly, though. I don't care if it sounds like "bowls", it looks like "towels" and dammit, that's how I'm going to pronounce it!
Next Game: vs. South Carolina, Saturday, 7:30 pm ET
Furman 17, Western Carolina 35
Only two more weeks of having to pay attention to this awful, awful team. Hooray!
Player to Watch: PJ Blazejowski, Quarterback
Whatta name! This true frosh is destined to have many fire-based puns related to his plays. "PJ BLAZES into the endzone!" "PJ throws a HEATER to the receiver!" "PJ is LIGHTING UP this defense!" Anyways, he led the team in rushing with 56 yards on 11 carries and a touchdown, as well as throwing another touchdown through the air. He could get the start against South Carolina, depending on how starter Dillon Woodruff performs next week against Coastal Carolina.
Next Game: vs. Coastal Carolina, Saturday, 7 pm ET
#5 Auburn 45, Louisiana Tech 17
Auburn trounced the Skip Holtz-led Bulldogs at home, relying on very exciting big plays to mask some of their weaker drives.
Player to Watch: Quin Bray, Wide Receiver
Bray had a total of three touchdowns on the day, with two coming from passes and one from a punt return. He only caught three passes, but racked up 91 yards, indicating he could be the big play threat Auburn needs to keep winning games, especially when Nick Marshall's arm continues to run hot and cold.
Next Game: vs LSU, Saturday, 7 pm ET
Tennessee 32, #13 Georgia 35
What a great performance from Tennessee in this one, particularly from Justin Worley and Jalen Hurd. Either the Vols are starting to put it together, or Georgia isn't as good as people seem to think. Then again, Todd Gurley still ran for over 200 yards, so maybe the Vols need some more work, and the Bulldogs are just fine.
Player to Watch: Justin Worley, Quarterback
When Justin Worley was not on the field for Tennessee's offense, it was abysmal. I'm as shocked as the next person to see Worley playing so well. He went 23-of-35 for 264 yards and three touchdowns, with no interceptions, and distributed the ball very well, with nine different receivers getting their hands on the ball, six of which got three or more catches.
Next Game: vs Florida, Saturday, Noon ET
Finally, a weekend for all those Florida fans to go swampin'! It's been too long, and the bog temperature was juuuuuuuust riiiiiiiight.
Player to Watch: Burt Reynolds in Gator
This sequel to White Lightning is one of Sterling Archer's favorite movies, and features some pretty sweet sawed-off shotgun action.
Next Game: vs LSU, Next Saturday, time TBD
South Alabama 34, Idaho 10
USA emerges triumphant in this battle between two future middle-of-the-road FCS teams. Seriously, this is not good football, folks.
Player to Watch: Jay Jones, Running Back
Jay Jones had his way with the potatoes, rushing for 108 yards on 18 carries and a touchdown. This was against Idaho, however, a team that refuses to play in anything but overalls covered with pig slop. Get it? 'Cause Idaho ain't got nothin' but farmers. It's a joke. I'm funny.
Next Game: @ Appalachian State, Saturday, 6 pm ET
Clemson 50, North Carolina 35
Somewhere, at this very moment, Dabo Swinney is looking at a picture of Deshaun Watson, as he puts on his lipstick. "You're not going to leave me, are you baby?" he asks. The picture does not respond.
Player to Watch: Tajh Boyd, Getting Some Bad Advice
"...so I mean, so long as the rope has the right kind of coating, it won't wear too badly in the water. The coating usually tastes pretty bad, too, so the dogs won't try to chew out of it."
"Mike, man, I really wish you didn't mention even a single word of that to me."
"Yeah, I'm a pretty awful person, but they still pay me!"
Next Game: vs North Carolina State, Saturday, 3:30 pm ET