Vanderbilt 34, Massachusetts 31
Good lord, is this what it’s come to? Eeking out come-from-behind wins against the UMass Future Gym Teachers? To give them entirely too much credit, Vanderbilt did show that they can, in practice, win one game.
Player to Watch: Patton Robinette, Quarterback
Robinette put together a consistent and clean, albeit average performance against UMass, going 15/21 for 147 yards, a touchdown and no picks, while tacking on a rushing touchdown for good measure. Now that Vandy is off the Stephen Rivers train for good, their offense will look like a group that knows how to play football, albeit not very well.
Next Game: vs. South Carolina, Saturday 7:30 pm ET
#20 Missouri 38, UCF 10
Missouri got it done in all kinds of ways against UCF, as they turned turnovers into points and made the most of every possession, racking up yards on the ground and touchdowns through the air.
Player to Watch: Maty Mauk, Quarterback
Making a repeat return to the list is Maty Galifianakis over here, with his bushy red beard, fat face, and bandana underneath the helmet. Gosh, he’s so cool, but what’s really cool is throwing four touchdowns like Mauk did. He threw up a couple of bombs here and there, but often opted for short passes and scrambles for quick yards. Mauk has really blossomed into a leader for this team, and his style of play shows that in a big way.
Next Game: vs. Indiana, Saturday, 4 pm ET
Kentucky 30, Florida 36
We got us a two-fer, and there ain’t no better kind of two-fer than a triple overtime shootout thrillride! Okay, maybe it wasn’t that exiting, but the drama was there, and Florida pulled it out, simply by having one more bullet left in the chamber.
Player to Watch (Florida): Demarcus Robinson, Wide Receiver
Holy cow. I was very high on him before, but the young man is now making history, by becoming the first Florida player with consecutive 100-yard receiving games since Jabar Gaffney in 2001. When you have to go back to an OG Houston Texans draft pick for a comp, you’re really going back. Robinson finished with 15 receptions for 216 yards and two touchdowns, and is officially the saving grace of Jeff Driskel. Seriously, take away Robinson’s numbers from Driskel’s, and you would have a quarterback who went 10/28 for 89 yards, a touchdown and an interception. Good god.
Player to Watch (Kentucky): Uh… Patrick Towles? Quarterback?
Look, Patrick Towles can be a winning quarterback. Heck, he already is a winning quarterback (for now). Throwing three interceptions in a game is an issue, though, even when ya throw three touchdowns in the same game. Why is that? Because Towelie only threw one touchdown apiece in his previous two games against FCS’ Tennessee-Martin, and mediocre-to-crappy Ohio. These picks did come against Florida’s vaunted defense, though, so Towles and his towels live to dry another day. Maybe some fabric softener would help (BURN!!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!1!!!!!)
Next Game (Florida): @ Alabama, Saturday, 3:30 pm ET
Next Game (Kentucky): @ Vanderbilt, Next Saturday, Time TBD
Furman 7, Presbyterian 10
Fun fact: Presbyterian’s team nickname is the “Blue Hoes”. Yes, as in panty hoes, or rather, stockings. This is not a joke, but Furman losing to Prez might be.
Player to Watch: Dillon Woodruff, Quarterback
Furman has an alleged dual-threat quarterback in Woodruff. The reason it is only an allegation is because I don’t think Woodruff poses a threat either passing or running the ball. He ran 16 times for 77 yards, and went 10/24 for 114 yards and a touchdown, along with getting sacked four times. Our defense could use a nice stat-padding game…
Next Game: @ South Carolina State, Saturday, 6 pm ET
The defending SEC champs got a nice rest before their road game this Thursday against an impressive Kansas State team.
Player to Watch: Your teenager, who should be home by now
It’s 11:31, Karen, and curfew was, and still is, at 11:30. The rule hasn’t changed just because you turned 16 little lady!
Next Game: @ Kansas State, Thursday, 7:30 pm ET
Tennessee 10, #4 Oklahoma 34
The UT revival movement came down to Earth this past weekend, as National Championship contenders Oklahoma ran roughshod over still-not-good quarterback Justin Worley. I made him my UT player to watch last week, because I get a pleasure out of watching him play poorly.
Player to Watch: A.J. Johnson, Linebacker
Johnson had 11 total tackles on the night after racking up nine in each of the previous two games. He’s Tennessee’s leading tackler, and I don’t expect the Senior leader of the defense to start slowing down anytime soon. He’s a pro player, so expect him to be busy in two weeks against Georgia, much like Skai Moore was this weekend.
Next Game: @ Georgia, Next Saturday, Time TBD
South Alabama 3, Mississippi State 35
This was actually a home game for the Jaguars, not that it mattered. Still, only allowing 330 total yards and two touchdowns from eternal dark horse Heisman candidate Dak Prescott counts for something. USA isn’t a tire fire, just your normal “meh” Sun Belt team.
Player to Watch: Jereme Jones, Wide Receiver
Jones was the most impressive receiver in USA’s cabal this past weekend, racking up seven receptions for 76 yards. At only 5’8” and 165 pounds, though, he will run into trouble against USC, and literally any other team that has pro-sized players in their secondary.
Next Game: vs. Georgia Southern, Saturday, 7:30 pm ET
Clemson: Inactive (though aren’t they always?)
Dabo went apple picking this weekend. He told his momma he didn’t like apples, but she took him anyways. Momma never listens to Dabo. Dabo doesn’t like his momma. His momma is lucky Dabo needs her to wash his crew neck sweaters, or else his momma might need to watch her back.
Player to Watch: Smithy
Sad, but true. Not rhyming, but true. Thank you, Smithy.