Tweet Predeect: NON-PLAYOFF BOWL EDITION!

• R+L Carriers New Orleans Bowl (Dec. 20): UL Lafayette vs. Nevada
Finally, the swamp people of Lafayette can rise up and take over the New Orleans Superdome. Talk about livin' the dream. On ESPN, no less!

• Gildan New Mexico Bowl (Dec. 20): Utah State vs. UTEP
Gamecock Central's own Jeff Tyner is currently playing a UTEP dynasty in NCAA Football 14. Life imitating art? Jameill Showers thinks so.

• Royal Purple Las Vegas Bowl (Dec. 20): Colorado State vs. Utah
Can a bowl be sponsored by a Crayola crayon color? Also, the idea of Mormon Utah fans walking around Vegas is a great Key & Peele sketch.

• Famous Idaho Potato Bowl (Dec. 20): Air Force vs. Western Michigan
Okay, is it the potatoes, the state, or the bowl that's famous? Western Michigan doesn't care, they're just dying for a taste of fame! FAME!

• Raycom Media Camelia Bowl (Dec. 20): Bowling Green vs. South Alabama
My Jags! I'm so proud of these guys. I hope Brandon Bridge becomes the first Canadian quarterback to win a bowl game (that I'm aware of).

• Miami Beach Bowl (Dec. 22): Memphis vs. BYU
The city where the blues took hold versus the school where music is banned, facing off in a city full of cocaine. There's no love lost here.

• Boca Raton Bowl (Dec. 23): Marshall vs. Northern Illinois
Hey Marshall, congrats on winning 12 games and almost going undefeated! You get to face the MAC champs in a town where people go to die.

• San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl (Dec. 23): San Diego State vs. Navy
I know I make fun of a lot of bowl sponsors, but this is ridiculous. The San Diego County Credit Union? Poinsettias deserve better than this.

• Popeyes Bahamas Bowl (Dec. 24): Western Kentucky vs. Central Michigan
When I spend eight grand on a trip to the Bahamas, you know I'm gonna get some Popeyes! Seriously though, there's a football stadium there?

• Sheraton Hawai'i Bowl (Dec. 24): Fresno State vs. Rice
Who is actually going to go watch this game? Will there be a single person in attendance, aside from the parents and fans that get flown in?

• Zaxby's Heart of Dallas Bowl (Dec. 26): Illinois vs. Louisiana Tech
Illinois fans' mocking "Drive for Six" actually worked, propelling this icky Fighting Illini team to a bowl. And maybe some boneless wings!

• BITCOIN St. Petersburg Bowl (Dec. 26): N.C. State vs. UCF
Not that it's expensive to buy the St. Petersburg bowl, but I didn't think there was even enough money in Bitcoin to even buy a used RV.

• Military Bowl presented by Northrop Grumman (Dec. 27): Virginia Tech vs. Cincinnati
The losing team has to guard the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier for 12 hours. It's not a bad gig, just sooooo boooooring.

• Hyundai Sun Bowl (Dec. 27): Duke vs. Arizona State
Oooh, Sun Devils versus Blue Devils. The winner gets sent to HELL! Well, a hell other than El Paso, where the bowl is actually taking place.

• Duck Commander Independence Bowl (Dec. 27): Miami vs. South Carolina
Yeah, I don't really need to preview this, do I? Just keep reading the site, ya dingus!

• National University Holiday Bowl (Dec. 27): Nebraska vs. USC
Sad to see the always entertaining Bo Pelini get the pink slip. Hopefully ol' Bo will get more work than Heisman Winner(!?) Eric Crouch did.

• AutoZone Liberty Bowl (Dec. 29): West Virginia vs. Texas A&M
Remember when Kenny Hill was a Heisman candidate? And TAMU was ranked sixth? Maybe they can get in the zone once again... THE AUTOZONE!

• Russell Athletic Bowl (Dec. 29): Clemson vs. Oklahoma
It's a guarantee that both teams are going to get plenty of crewneck sweater swag from Russell Athletic. Talk about a wet dream for Dabo.

• AdvoCare V100 Texas Bowl (Dec. 29): Texas vs. Arkansas
Be honest, did they make up this bowl just to make Texas feel better? I didn't realize Longhorns were so sensitive to being left out.

• Belk Bowl (Dec. 30): Louisville vs. Georgia
I love how "Belk Bowl" just rolls off the tongue. It's so fun to say! Almost as fun as watching Nick Chubb run for 320 yards on The 'Ville.

• Foster Farms Bowl (Dec. 30): Maryland vs. Stanford
Yeah, how about instead of a bowl game, you take Maryland football behind the barn at Foster Farm, and put a bullet in its head?

• VIZIO Fiesta Bowl (Dec. 31): Arizona vs. Boise State
Oh, how the mighty have fallen. I'm talking about the Fiesta Bowl, of course. It used to host the National Championship for cryin' out loud!

• Buffalo Wild Wings Citrus Bowl (Jan. 1): Minnesota vs. Missouri
Don't forget to try the newest sauce at B-Dubz, Citrus Spice! It's almost as unbearable to eat as it is to watch Maty Mauk play football.

• Lockheed Martin Armed Forces Bowl (Jan. 2): Houston vs. Pittsburgh
Wait, there's both a Military Bowl and an Armed Forces Bowl? Jeez, the brave men and women who fight for our country sure are greedy.

• Valero Alamo Bowl (Jan. 2): Kansas State vs. UCLA
I'd say Remember the Alamo, but this game is going to be pretty forgettable. Brett Hundley is a guy people still care about, right?

• TicketCity Cactus Bowl (Jan. 2): Oklahoma State vs. Washington
TicketCity, huh? Is that like StubHub? Or SeatGeek? Or any other more recognizable ticket vendor in existence?

• TaxSlayer Bowl (Jan. 2): Iowa vs. Tennessee
Good for Tennessee, getting to play in a January bowl. Granted, it's not a playoff bowl or against an actual good team, but hey, progress.

• Birmingham Bowl (Jan. 3): Florida vs. East Carolina
Phew, really dodged a bullet on this one. Imagine having to play in friggin' Birmingham against an opponent that USC already beat. Yuck.

• GoDaddy Bowl (Jan. 4): Toledo vs. Arkansas State
GoDaddy, once again trying to steal the spotlight and failing. We get it, you hire hot women to be in your ads and have a January bowl. Yay.