November 26, 2014 Know Thy Enemy: A Photographic Guide November 26, 2014/ Aaron Weiss Jesus, Clemson's mascot is so creepy. He looks like one of those old wool dolls you'd find in an antique store owned by racists. "Hey, you better stop throwing those flags, or you're going to get penalty for being a big jerk! And also for too much laundry on the field, heh. The flags are like dirty socks." Dabo pumped his fist with relief. His suit didn't get wrinkled at all on the bus ride. His momma would be so proud. I wish I could say this was the first time a Clemson grad tried to seduce me in a tiger suit. I wish I could say that. "Good thing I bought everybody these jogging khakis. Can you believe the lady at TJ Maxx laughed at me when I bought 50 pairs? I know a good deal when I see one!" "No matter how hard I squeezed the watermelon, nothing ever came out! I don't know how people get that water from those melons, but they must be pretty strong." Check out the guy on the left, and note the faint orange around his mouth. It indicates he clearly forgot he had painted his hands orange. THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T DO IT. "Yeah, they were out to here, but have you ever actually touched them before? Are they supposed to be so soft? It wasn't anything like that cow udder I used to practice on." "Oh wow, her hands are so soft. I wonder what kind of lotion she uses, and if it would be safe to use on my face..." In the land of the losers, the douchebag is king. Has there ever been anyone more excited to hug Dabo Swinney? The answer is no. Even Dabo doesn't know how to react! Hey, how many times in a row have you lost to the Gamecocks? Did that kid bring a javelin to a football game? I can't believe I noticed that before the giant purple and orange afro. "Yeah, get me a couple more crewneck sweaters. The sweat is starting to seep through this one." "Hey, don't get sacked! That's not what the Lord wants you to do!" Ah, looks like we got ourselves a junior Dabo! That's some nice whinin' there, kid/ Dabo in Camo? It's like life imitates art, with the piece of art being "Ernest Joins the Army" I'd like to imagine one of these guys convinced his buddies to paint his ex-girlfriend's name on their chests in an attempt to win her back. You got out at the right time, Erica.