10 Fun Facts about South Alabama

As many of you hopefully know, I've been covering South Alabama since the start of the season, featuring them in every one of my "Future Opponent" articles. In my research for these articles, I have come to learn a great deal about the Jaguars, or as they abbreviate it, the "Jags". I will now share this information with the public, with the hope that we will all be better prepared for the hellfire they shall attempt to rain upon us.

  • The University has an annual payroll of over 404 million dollars, making them the second largest employer in Mobile, Alabama. The largest is Mobile's mobile home factory. Where did you think they made mobile homes, Birmingham?
  • The University has awarded 75,000 degrees since 1963, only 17,482 of which have been used as bibs while eating fried chicken.
  • USA is a founding member of the Sun Belt Conference, meaning they hold at least one piece of the actual Sun Belt. When all the pieces are put together, it looks something like this:
  • Their baseball stadium is named Stankey Field, both because it's named after a former coach, and because daaaaaamn, that field stank!
  • The Jags didn't play their first football game until 2009. Of course, we all remember 2009 was the year Michael Jackson died. The King of Pop died so that South Alabama football could live. God bless you, Mr. Jackson.
  • The Jaguars play in Ladd-Peebles Stadium, also the site of the prestigious GoDaddy.com Bowl. Arkansas State has won this bowl twice in a row. That's like climbing Mount Everest twice!
  • Their students' battle cry is dubbed "South In Your Mouth". It's supposed to evoke the the feeling that you have the taste of... you know what, this joke is too easy. Y'all can Mad Libs this sucker however you like.
  • The baseball team has made 25 appearances in the College World Series tournament, yet have never won it once. What a bunch of losers, am I right?
  • According to Wikipedia, the school's men's and women's tennis teams are "consistently" ranked among the best in the nation. This fact was not cited, so I'm going to presume they meant best in the nation at having hermit crabs living up their nostrils. It's fun to pretend!
  • The school has publicly denounced the existence of the Jacksonville Jaguars, citing them as an embarrassment to other sports teams named the "Jaguars", as well as actual Jaguars. I can't blame 'em.