I don't know about you, but I had more than my fair share of beers during the South Carolina-Kentucky game. At a certain point, however, I found myself with an empty box, and eight minutes still to go in the fourth. The eight most agonizing minutes of the game. The eight minutes that would make me want to drink more than I had all night.
Now, I couldn't very well be the only Gamecock fan in this situation, could I? So I decided to take this bye week to plan out what to drink for every game in the future. Never shall you or I be boozeless again!
Furman: Bud Light Straw-Ber-Ritas
Oh yeah, it's gonna be a party! These tasty little devils come in 8 oz. cans that you're supposed to put on ice, but I drink 'em from the can. Even with USC's struggles, the Furman game is going to be a blowout, so these are pefect for having a good time, especially with 8% alc./vol. They also come in 24 oz tallboys, though the 8 oz cans are great for making wizard staffs.
Auburn: Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA (optional: Kraken Spiced Rum)
You'll likely be drinking plenty in this affair. Auburn could very well lift this Gamecocks team over their head, and break 'em in half over their collective knees. So you might as well drink a good beer while you're watching bad football. Try the Dogfish Head 90-Minute IPA. It's a very full-bodied beer, that will make you feel like you're drinking a lot when you're only halfway through a six-pack. If you're looking to get particularly lit up, make it a boilermaker with a shot of a spicy rum, like The Kraken.
Tennessee: Great Lakes Oktoberfest
By the time the Tennessee game rolls around, we'll be in full autumn mode, which is perfect for heavy, bold-flavored beers, like an Oktoberfest lager. Great Lakes Brewing Company's particular blend is denoted by the presence of caramel, toasted nuts, and toffee in the taste and scent of the beer. Don't go trying to chug these, now. The Tennessee game will be a long affair, so maybe set up the TV outside, get a bonfire going, maybe invite some friends over and cook brats on the grill. Do as the Germans do, especially if you're going to be drinking their beer.
Florida: Wild Turkey Kentucky Spirit
Sorry, I know seeing the word "Kentucky" must make everyone on edge, but trust me, you'll want this bourbon. The Florida game will be an ugly affair, with Florida's awful defense and their terrible offense likely to keep this a trudging affair. Pour some Kentucky Spirit over rocks and sip on it through the game. After the final whistle blows, win or lose, use the rest for shots, either in celebration or in tribute to what will be a dead season.
South Alabama: Hot Hard Cider
No matter how the rest of the SEC schedule goes, you'll likely feel reinvigorated about South Carolina football. Either the team is making a late push towards a solid season or 2015 is looking really good to you. Drink something to go along with your new clarity in fandom, and have a Hot Cider. Keep some in a thermos so it'll stay warm, and enjoy this likely victory with an apple-pecan crisp, or some kinda silly fall dessert.
Clemson: Dabo Swinney's Tears
Freshly squeezed from his purple and orange sweaters, you can really taste the false promises and the haunted past with a lemon twist garnish.